Making Headlines: The Fatherhood is Leadership Podcast

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Fatherhood is Leadership Podcast

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My TED Talk Takeaways

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Recently, I was honored give a TED talk on fatherhood and leadership at TEDx Boca Raton. As a professional speaker and someone who has watched many TED Talks over the years, it was exciting to be part of such a rich history and tradition.

For those who are unaware of TED, TED is a nonprofit foundation devoted to spreading ideas, usually in the form of short, powerful talks (18 minutes or less). TED began in 1984 as a conference where Technology, Entertainment and Design converged, and today covers almost all topics — from science to business to global issues — in more than 100 languages. Meanwhile, independently run TEDx events help share ideas in communities around the world. The motto of TED is “ideas worth spreading.” You can see for yourself at TED.com.

I have to applaud the organizers of TEDx Boca Raton for putting together a first class event. Everything from the pre-conference VIP party to the event itself was filled with innovative, thoughtful people making the world better.

My talk was titled “The Most Important Question A Father Can Ask Himself,” drawing from my experience developing programs and coaching fathers throughout the globe. And of course my own experience and trials as a modern day Dad!

My idea worth spreading….”Fatherhood is Leadership!”

After a few days processing my time with other thought leaders, scientists, engineers, gamers, child prodigies and former professional athletes, I have a few takeaways from my TED Talk:

  1. Tell and Own Your Story- This applies to a public forum like TED or in everyday life. Our lives are a continuous narrative of the impact we make on people and the world. Be proud of sharing your story, ideas, accomplishments and perceived failures. Tell it, own it and be passionate about your story!
  2. Preparation- There is no substitute for hard work and preparation. Rehearse…Rehearse…Rehearse… Whether its a big speech or boardroom meeting, preparation is the key to success. Nervous energy can be expected but preparation turns that energy into peak performance.
  3. Innovation Can Be Simple The best way to approach complex ideas is to make them simple. Creating an authentic perception and reality of ‘new value’ for the audience is what matters. Remember Albert Einstein’s quote? “If you can’t explain it to a 6-year-old, your don’t understand it yourself.” Just because a topic is complicated, doesn’t mean your talk needs to be complicated—the true mark of good communication is clarity.
  4. Remember “It’s Not About YOU”– Whenever you are asked to deliver a speech, workshop, idea or information don’t lose sight of the goal. For me it’s always to provide value to anyone who has taken the time to listen. When preparing I always ask myself “what’s in it for them?” While you may not reach everyone, you can surely make a difference in at least one persons life that day, if you deliver value.

Do you have a favorite TED Talk or TED takeaway? Let me know by commenting below and feel free to share with others…

If you want more details on how to become a better leader and successfully integrate work-life and home-life, let me help you. For your complimentary discovery session…and to find out about my LEGACY of LEADERSHIP coaching program, I have a limited number of appointments available and requests for people. If you are serious about creating a legacy of leadership, purpose and connection. Contact me

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Fatherhood Thought Leader, Speaker and Leadership Expert Devon Bandison teaches business owners and entrepreneurs around the world how to become better leaders at work and at home. Get his FREE report “Top 4 Way To Become A Productive Leader” at www.devonbandison.com.

5 Ways To Create A Legacy Of Leadership

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“All I ever wanted to do was save my kid…but the ‘my’ kept getting larger and larger”

Geoffrey Canada

Over the past few days, I’ve been In Savannah, Georgia where I was asked to speak at the National Youth-At-Risk Conference. One of the perks of the trip was sharing some time with fellow speaker Geoffrey Canada, founder of the Harlem Children’s Zone.

In our conversation we immediately connected as he learned of my work developing programs throughout the years for children, fathers and families in NYC.

The conversation shifted to this question…What type of legacy are you living today?

LEGACIES ARE CREATED BY LEADERS!

Ask yourself. What is your legacy right now?

If it was all over today, would you be proud of your legacy?

What would your kids, wife, community, colleagues, friends and families say your legacy is?

And most importantly, what would you say it is?

It starts with your WHY!

My early work with clients always starts with finding out what makes them come alive.

What are you passionate about? What is your WHY?

When you start with your WHY you create your own personal mission statement. This establishes a value system and ideal customer.

The next step is to create a living legacy so you can show up as the best version of yourself, wherever you are. Be the leader you want to become at home, at work and in the community!

Here are 5 Steps to creating a Legacy of Leadership:

  1. Vision- Know what matters. You can’t create a legacy and hand something down by accident (if so, it is usually a negative one). Until you have a clear vision of what you want your legacy to be, it will be tough to built it.
  2. Create Winning Habits- Great leaders have “non-negotiables” that they practice on a daily basis. Habits that enhance and support their value system. Drive your personal leadership vision into your life, business, and family by creating habits that support what’s most important.
  3. Connection- All great leaders influence lives through connection. This means spending quality time developing relationships at home, at work, in the community, and with yourself.
  4. Leave Your Comfort Zone– Research shows that in order to maximize performance we need a state of relative anxiety—a space where our stress levels are slightly higher than normal. This space is called “Optimal Anxiety,” and it’s just outside our comfort zone. Optimal anxiety is that place where your mental productivity and performance reach their peak
  5. Bring Value- Most successful people I know don’t think about being successful at all. They think about being of value. They know that when you bring value to a business, relationship, and community you enhance abundance and create reciprocity. (The more you give, the more you receive). The key is to convert value into behaviors that you can measure and manage. Values in action are the key to creating a legacy of leadership.

“Strive not be be a success, but rather to be of value”
Albert Einstein

Super Bowl: 3 Lessons in Leadership!

As Super Bowl XLIX approaches, what has been the major story line for you?

Deflate-gate? New commercials? Office pools? “I’m just here so I won’t get fined?”

All par for the course but if you look a little deeper you’ll find something else…

Lessons in leadership…

While growing up playing sports, coaches always stressed the connection between sports and leadership. As this years Super Bowl approaches it is easy to see the meaningful lessons in leadership exhibited by both teams. Win or lose, these two teams have positioned themselves as the best in class of their profession.

Here are three leadership lessons to pay attention to while you’re watching the game:

  1. Coaching develops talent – One could argue that the teams with the two best coaches in the NFL are in the Super Bowl. Talent development starts with good coaching. Great leaders have great coaches and mentors. If you are ready to take your performance to the next level, invest in a coach that can help you develop.
  2. Focus to finish- It takes vision and discipline to be a winner in sports and in life. Effective leaders follow their vision with a disciplined focus towards achieving a goal. Both teams had a vision of winning the “Big Game” and it was their discipline and focus that has put them in position to win. “A goal is a dream with a deadline.”
  3. Champions never give up– Seattle and New England both went through their share of adversity throughout the season. People were doubting if they would even make the playoffs. But they never gave up, and are now on the biggest stage of their profession. Determination and resoluteness is what allows leaders to remain motivated and to overcome whatever adversity, obstacles and barriers they encounter.

“Leaders aren’t born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that’s the price we’ll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.”-Vince Lombardi, Hall of Fame NFL Coach

Enjoy the game!

 

Want To Be A Better Father This Year? A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

Want to become a better father?

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

In today’s world where work-life integration is difficult for many, I’ve been fortunate to have the best of both worlds. A career that incorporates the very thing I love most…Fatherhood….

The work with fathers and leaders around the country is an amazing and purposeful journey. An added benefit to this work is the ability to share some of my own experience as a father for them to relate to.

Here are a few pictures over the past year that highlight important fatherhood lessons:

1. Be Consistent- Show Up

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This is what me and my little man call our Friday Night Spot! On Fridays we stop by our favorite pizza shop and have a blast. By making this our special hangout, he looks forward to it and feels special.

Consistency and making your child feel special is important and helps with adjustment. Routines help our children understand what is coming next, so the world doesn’t feel like such a scary and unpredictable place. (warning- It could be fattening too)

2. Encourage and Support Them

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When my daughter was nominated for homecoming Queen, there was a lot of anxiety to go around. She tried to be cool and act as if she wasn’t nervous but as a father you know the “real deal.” We let her know that she is amazing and a winner no matter the outcome. The best moment came when I escorted her on to the field and she turned to me and said “Dad you’ve been treating me like a Queen all my life”

3. Have Fun and Laugh

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This was called the Toys R Us Takeover. Allowing your children to laugh and see the lighter side of you is important. By sharing this side with your children you actually help with their social and emotional development.

Research has shown that children who laugh more are healthier — they’re less likely to be depressed and may even have an increased resistance to illness or physical problems.

4. Teach Them What Gratitude and Service Looks Like

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There’s no better education than seeing the less fortunate first-hand. One way I teach gratitude is by bringing my children to feed and donate gifts to homeless families during the holidays.

Studies show that children who express gratitude through service reap concrete benefits, including greater life satisfaction and a better attitude about school. When children give their time and energy to help others, they’re less likely to take things like health, home and family for granted.

 5. Show Them The World

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Teach your children to follow their dreams and show them the world. They look up to you, so make sure your children know that anything is achievable, regardless of the current circumstances.

Do you have any pictures

depicting fatherhood that

you’d like to share?

How To Make Today The Best Day Of 2014

“Write It On Your Heart That Every Day Is The Best Day In The Year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today is the last day of 2014 and I couldn’t be more excited. Not because I’m looking forward to the New Years festivities tonight. I’m excited because I’m determined to make today the best day of 2014.

The end of the year inventory is already complete. I’ve written down the goals and dreams I will experience in 2015. These dreams are “goals with deadlines” to ensure that I’m tracking my success. The house has been cleaned, email emptied, clothes and toys organized and ready to be donated. This work has prepared me well for the New Year. But wait a minute 2015 is not here yet. We still have 18 hours left in 2014, so I’m determined to make today the best day of the year.

If you want to make today the best day of 2014, you can do so with two words…….. HERE AND NOW!

Some people get energized by where they are going. You can see them light up when they share their vision and goals. And some people get excited by how far they’ve come. Their story of overcoming hardships gives them confidence and courage. Both are good forms of motivation. However, I think the greatest feeling and source of motivation in the world is loving and appreciating where you are right, Here and Now. Not wishing you’re somewhere you’re not, but fully accepting where you are. In our presence—not the future or the past—is the gift of life. The best is not yet to come—it’s here.

Go out today determined to have the best day of the year. Don’t loose an entire day waiting for tomorrow. Start with gratitude and navigate the day in the HERE AND NOW.

Let’s celebrate Here and Now!

“Here And Now Is Where It Happens”

Looking To Achieve More in 2015? Time For A “New You”

Let’s Face It… New Year’s Resolutions SUCK!

Have you made New Year’s Resolutions only to be disappointed that you didn’t achieve your goals?

Have you promised yourself that you would:

Lose weight

Get organized

Quit smoking

Spend more time with the family

Sound familiar?  These are just a few of the most common New Year’s resolutions that were identified in a 2014 study by the University of Scranton.  The same research found that only 8% of people are successful in achieving their resolution. 

If you’re ready to start 2015 the right way then the “2015 – A New You” Personal and Professional Development program is for you! 

This revolutionary program is geared towards people who want more out of their life…  People who are tired of making resolutions without having the systems in place to help them achieve lasting success.

We already have some of the most powerful, confident and successful men and woman signed up. They have all achieved a great deal in life.
And despite their track record of success, all are ready for support to achieve a goal that seems “impossible” right now.
Do you know someone like this?

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Want To Be Happier? Take The 30 Day Challenge

Here is the challenge…

For the next 30 days, practice the 7 strategies below and see how it positively shifts your perspective and increases your happiness.  Here are a few strategies that will set you up for success:

  1. Start writing a journal– highlight your key successes throughout the day as well as what a successful day would look like. Once I started looking at success, I was drawn to success.
  2. Read Uplifting Information– I used to take the train every morning and read a book on my way to work.  Occasionally a newspaper will be sitting  around and I’ll always open up and read the sports section first. A friend once asked why I read the sports section first and I told him “when I wake up, I’d much rather read about mans accomplishments then mans failures.”  So, read a book or listen to a cd that inspires you and positively affects your spirit.
  3. Write a Gratitude List– Gratitude in my attitude always helps me with my day.  Sometimes the adversities in life are so acute, that they seem unbearable.  To change this outlook, sit down and take time to write down the things in your life that you appreciate, make you happy and are grateful for.  Whenever I write a gratitude list, my perspective usually changes for the positive.
  4. Smile and Laugh – its a biological fact that laughter boosts the immense system, releases endorphins and improves blood flow to the heart.  So laugh and smile more and if you can try and make someone else laugh and smile as well!
  5. Help Someone– Take on the responsibility of being a mentor or a coach.  Being of service to someone else often triggers the most rewarding and soul satisfying feelings inside. Helping others takes us outside of ourselves and our own motives.
  6. THANK YOU– Take time to visit, call or write someone and tell them thank you.  I take time to thank mentors, family members and friends for the positive influence they have had on me.  They appreciate it and you will feel good about doing it.
  7. Surround Yourself with Positive People– The people you spend the most time with are the ones that influence you the most!

You’ll be amazed at the results you get from practicing these principles for 30 straight days. “Change your perspective and you will change your reality”

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The Devon Bandison Company

www.devonbandison.com

Ph: 212.660.2950

The Most Important Question A Father Can Ask Himself

If you’re taking the time to read my blog, you most likely want to become a better father and leader.  You want to grow. You want to be a father that is more connected, present and successful. Today’s father wants to be successful in their career as well as a successful parent.

It all comes back to leadership. Fatherhood is leadership and leadership is influence—nothing more, nothing less.

Increasing your influence means improving your leadership skills as a father. As a father, I need to ask myself tough questions on a regular basis. One of those questions relates to my motives as a leader.  In my work with fathers we first look at what they were taught about fatherhood and manhood growing up. We work on identifying the major influencers on their view of fatherhood.

Most fathers agree that they never received a “book” on how to be a good father. In reality, our influencers growing up was our “book.” We watched our fathers, other people’s fathers and sometimes the media define what fatherhood meant to us. The same questions apply to today’s leader. Who are your biggest influencers and mentors? What “book of leadership” do you adhere to? It’s important to take a look at your values and qualities as a leader and how it translates as a father. These are the values that you will instill in your children.

The most important question a father can ask himself is:

What kind of leader do you want to be?

A fathers leadership style directly influences the development of his children. It’s important to take a look at the relationship you are developing with your children and how you are leading. 

Ask yourself:

Do you take time to listen to your child’s goals, dreams, and vision for their life?

Are you a father that tries to develop leadership qualities in your child so the can be their own leader?

Do you laugh, joke around and show your children the joy in life?

Do you allow your children to make their own mistakes and learn from them?

Or

Are most of your conversations around cleaning rooms, taking out garbage and doing homework?

Do you find yourself yelling more than modeling the values you want to instill?

Are you a “do as I say, not as I do” kind of leader?

Don’t get me wrong, having chores is important. But is that how you want to spend most of your time communicating? There is so much more to developing young people and ways to instill responsibility. Take time to look at how you are leading and spending your time with your children.

Good leaders are life long learners, always looking for ways to improve. Same applies to fatherhood. If you want to improve your parenting skills you have to work at it. 

Developing a relationship with your child based on leadership values are vital to developing our future leaders. In order to motivate others and instill values, fathers need to check their motives.

What motivates you as a leader?

As a leader and father, it’s important to question your motives often, because the temptation to lead strictly by authority is strong. Why? Because the easy default to questions from our children is the age old “because I’m your father” or “because I said so.” But what message does that send? Is that leadership?

The “do as I say and not as I do” leadership is outdated and ineffective. Fatherhood like leadership is influence, not your title or position. The best leaders/fathers lead by example.

So, fathers ask yourself…What kind of leader do you want to be?

Before you become a father, success is about growing yourself.  When you become a father, success is all about growing others”

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