Are You Living Your Default Future?

man try to exit from his glass sphere

Lets Stop For A Minute! Yes Stop….

Take a deep breath, check in with yourself and become present.

Ok, are you here?

Good…..

Now check in and see where you are on your journey called life! With almost half of 2015 behind us, now is a great opportunity to become aware of where you are in the here and now.

Have you reached the goals, dreams, and milestones that you had set for yourself? Are you satisfied, fulfilled and passionate with your life? Is what you are about to do today what you really want to do?

Or

Are you living your default future?

What is a default future you ask?

Your default future is that life you “settled” into. The one that has subtly placed your dreams to the side because “life showed up.” The vision of the life you really wanted for yourself that has been placed on a waiting list. It is that relationship, job, or situation that has now gone on auto pilot. Many people I work with begin to realize they have settled into their default future without even knowing when it happened.

Some have promised to go back to school after a year, and it’s 10 years later. Others have said they wanted to start their own business but continue to show up to a job they hate. Some wanted to have a healthier relationship with their body but never made it to the gym. You get the point.

We all have had opportunities in our life to either settle or move forward towards our ideal life.

Where are you?

The number one cause for this life on auto pilot is….Failure to leave your comfort zone

Yes, the dreaded comfort zone. Trust me when I tell you that your comfort zone is NOT your friend. Your comfort zone leads you to a one way ticket to your default future.

Comfort zones foster an attitude of learned helplessness, making progress harder. Learning, creating, and growing happen only when you step outside and challenge yourself.

“Life Begins At The End Of Your Comfort Zone”

Here are 3 Ways To Move Out Of Your Comfort Zone:

Lean In- Ever been working out at the gym and it hurts? Then you make a decision to lean in and continue working out despite the pain. What happens? The result is that you become fit, stronger and generally feel good about yourself. The discomfort was worth it. The same applies to your life. Lean in to discomfort. Choose to have that difficult conversation you’ve been putting off. Choose to apply for those jobs that you think you”ll never get. Choose to book put a date on the calendar and book the flight to your dream destination. Choose to write that book you’ve been putting off.

Become Present and Expand- Awareness can bring about change. When you become aware of your tendency to default to your comfort zone, shift your mindset to expansion. Ask yourself, what can I do that will broaden my horizons? Is it a 30-day challenge? Is it a conference you wanted to sign up for that will deepen your knowledge base? Is it an email to the author of the book you really connected with? These are all ways to expand.

Accountability- When leaving your comfort zone it’s important that your track your progress to ensure that you’re not subtly slipping back into old habits. Support yourself by creating an accountability group with friends. This can include gym workout buddies, a book club or a master mind.

Looking for deeper transformation? Consider hiring a coach or connecting with a mentor.

As you begin to move out of your comfort zone you will see opportunities that you thought were out of reach. This will build your confidence and allow you to take healthy risks.  I’ve seen miracles happen with the clients I’m fortunate enough to work with as a result of pushing past their comfort zone. Transformation in its truest sense. Leaving your comfort zone will create a life of increased fulfillment, optimism and confidence.

Make the decision today to get out of your comfort zone and live your ideal life, instead of your default future. Life is truly what you make it!

 

Making Headlines: The Fatherhood is Leadership Podcast

I wanted to thank everyone for your support of the:

Fatherhood is Leadership Podcast

Because of all of your support, we have reached the New and Noteworthy page on iTunes.

news and noteworthy

Thank you again. If you haven’t already done so, please go to iTunes and give us a rating and review! This will help move the podcast forward so we can continue bringing value and content you love.

Onward and Upward!!!

My TED Talk Takeaways

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Recently, I was honored give a TED talk on fatherhood and leadership at TEDx Boca Raton. As a professional speaker and someone who has watched many TED Talks over the years, it was exciting to be part of such a rich history and tradition.

For those who are unaware of TED, TED is a nonprofit foundation devoted to spreading ideas, usually in the form of short, powerful talks (18 minutes or less). TED began in 1984 as a conference where Technology, Entertainment and Design converged, and today covers almost all topics — from science to business to global issues — in more than 100 languages. Meanwhile, independently run TEDx events help share ideas in communities around the world. The motto of TED is “ideas worth spreading.” You can see for yourself at TED.com.

I have to applaud the organizers of TEDx Boca Raton for putting together a first class event. Everything from the pre-conference VIP party to the event itself was filled with innovative, thoughtful people making the world better.

My talk was titled “The Most Important Question A Father Can Ask Himself,” drawing from my experience developing programs and coaching fathers throughout the globe. And of course my own experience and trials as a modern day Dad!

My idea worth spreading….”Fatherhood is Leadership!”

After a few days processing my time with other thought leaders, scientists, engineers, gamers, child prodigies and former professional athletes, I have a few takeaways from my TED Talk:

  1. Tell and Own Your Story- This applies to a public forum like TED or in everyday life. Our lives are a continuous narrative of the impact we make on people and the world. Be proud of sharing your story, ideas, accomplishments and perceived failures. Tell it, own it and be passionate about your story!
  2. Preparation- There is no substitute for hard work and preparation. Rehearse…Rehearse…Rehearse… Whether its a big speech or boardroom meeting, preparation is the key to success. Nervous energy can be expected but preparation turns that energy into peak performance.
  3. Innovation Can Be Simple The best way to approach complex ideas is to make them simple. Creating an authentic perception and reality of ‘new value’ for the audience is what matters. Remember Albert Einstein’s quote? “If you can’t explain it to a 6-year-old, your don’t understand it yourself.” Just because a topic is complicated, doesn’t mean your talk needs to be complicated—the true mark of good communication is clarity.
  4. Remember “It’s Not About YOU”– Whenever you are asked to deliver a speech, workshop, idea or information don’t lose sight of the goal. For me it’s always to provide value to anyone who has taken the time to listen. When preparing I always ask myself “what’s in it for them?” While you may not reach everyone, you can surely make a difference in at least one persons life that day, if you deliver value.

Do you have a favorite TED Talk or TED takeaway? Let me know by commenting below and feel free to share with others…

If you want more details on how to become a better leader and successfully integrate work-life and home-life, let me help you. For your complimentary discovery session…and to find out about my LEGACY of LEADERSHIP coaching program, I have a limited number of appointments available and requests for people. If you are serious about creating a legacy of leadership, purpose and connection. Contact me

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Fatherhood Thought Leader, Speaker and Leadership Expert Devon Bandison teaches business owners and entrepreneurs around the world how to become better leaders at work and at home. Get his FREE report “Top 4 Way To Become A Productive Leader” at www.devonbandison.com.

5 Ways To Create A Legacy Of Leadership

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“All I ever wanted to do was save my kid…but the ‘my’ kept getting larger and larger”

Geoffrey Canada

Over the past few days, I’ve been In Savannah, Georgia where I was asked to speak at the National Youth-At-Risk Conference. One of the perks of the trip was sharing some time with fellow speaker Geoffrey Canada, founder of the Harlem Children’s Zone.

In our conversation we immediately connected as he learned of my work developing programs throughout the years for children, fathers and families in NYC.

The conversation shifted to this question…What type of legacy are you living today?

LEGACIES ARE CREATED BY LEADERS!

Ask yourself. What is your legacy right now?

If it was all over today, would you be proud of your legacy?

What would your kids, wife, community, colleagues, friends and families say your legacy is?

And most importantly, what would you say it is?

It starts with your WHY!

My early work with clients always starts with finding out what makes them come alive.

What are you passionate about? What is your WHY?

When you start with your WHY you create your own personal mission statement. This establishes a value system and ideal customer.

The next step is to create a living legacy so you can show up as the best version of yourself, wherever you are. Be the leader you want to become at home, at work and in the community!

Here are 5 Steps to creating a Legacy of Leadership:

  1. Vision- Know what matters. You can’t create a legacy and hand something down by accident (if so, it is usually a negative one). Until you have a clear vision of what you want your legacy to be, it will be tough to built it.
  2. Create Winning Habits- Great leaders have “non-negotiables” that they practice on a daily basis. Habits that enhance and support their value system. Drive your personal leadership vision into your life, business, and family by creating habits that support what’s most important.
  3. Connection- All great leaders influence lives through connection. This means spending quality time developing relationships at home, at work, in the community, and with yourself.
  4. Leave Your Comfort Zone– Research shows that in order to maximize performance we need a state of relative anxiety—a space where our stress levels are slightly higher than normal. This space is called “Optimal Anxiety,” and it’s just outside our comfort zone. Optimal anxiety is that place where your mental productivity and performance reach their peak
  5. Bring Value- Most successful people I know don’t think about being successful at all. They think about being of value. They know that when you bring value to a business, relationship, and community you enhance abundance and create reciprocity. (The more you give, the more you receive). The key is to convert value into behaviors that you can measure and manage. Values in action are the key to creating a legacy of leadership.

“Strive not be be a success, but rather to be of value”
Albert Einstein

Super Bowl: 3 Lessons in Leadership!

As Super Bowl XLIX approaches, what has been the major story line for you?

Deflate-gate? New commercials? Office pools? “I’m just here so I won’t get fined?”

All par for the course but if you look a little deeper you’ll find something else…

Lessons in leadership…

While growing up playing sports, coaches always stressed the connection between sports and leadership. As this years Super Bowl approaches it is easy to see the meaningful lessons in leadership exhibited by both teams. Win or lose, these two teams have positioned themselves as the best in class of their profession.

Here are three leadership lessons to pay attention to while you’re watching the game:

  1. Coaching develops talent – One could argue that the teams with the two best coaches in the NFL are in the Super Bowl. Talent development starts with good coaching. Great leaders have great coaches and mentors. If you are ready to take your performance to the next level, invest in a coach that can help you develop.
  2. Focus to finish- It takes vision and discipline to be a winner in sports and in life. Effective leaders follow their vision with a disciplined focus towards achieving a goal. Both teams had a vision of winning the “Big Game” and it was their discipline and focus that has put them in position to win. “A goal is a dream with a deadline.”
  3. Champions never give up– Seattle and New England both went through their share of adversity throughout the season. People were doubting if they would even make the playoffs. But they never gave up, and are now on the biggest stage of their profession. Determination and resoluteness is what allows leaders to remain motivated and to overcome whatever adversity, obstacles and barriers they encounter.

“Leaders aren’t born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that’s the price we’ll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.”-Vince Lombardi, Hall of Fame NFL Coach

Enjoy the game!

 

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