“Write It On Your Heart That Every Day Is The Best Day In The Year”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Today is the last day of 2014 and I couldn’t be more excited. Not because I’m looking forward to the New Years festivities tonight. I’m excited because I’m determined to make today the best day of 2014.
The end of the year inventory is already complete. I’ve written down the goals and dreams I will experience in 2015. These dreams are “goals with deadlines” to ensure that I’m tracking my success. The house has been cleaned, email emptied, clothes and toys organized and ready to be donated. This work has prepared me well for the New Year. But wait a minute 2015 is not here yet. We still have 18 hours left in 2014, so I’m determined to make today the best day of the year.
If you want to make today the best day of 2014, you can do so with two words…….. HERE AND NOW!
Some people get energized by where they are going. You can see them light up when they share their vision and goals. And some people get excited by how far they’ve come. Their story of overcoming hardships gives them confidence and courage. Both are good forms of motivation. However, I think the greatest feeling and source of motivation in the world is loving and appreciating where you are right, Here and Now. Not wishing you’re somewhere you’re not, but fully accepting where you are. In our presence—not the future or the past—is the gift of life. The best is not yet to come—it’s here.
Go out today determined to have the best day of the year. Don’t loose an entire day waiting for tomorrow. Start with gratitude and navigate the day in the HERE AND NOW.
Let’s celebrate Here and Now!
“Here And Now Is Where It Happens”
We had a lot of fun in our interview with Christopher Lewis of Dads of Divas. To see the Dads In The Limelight interview, check it out here:
“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.”
― William Faulkner
I want to thank all of the readers and followers of the NowLegacy Blog. Your feedback has been tremendous and this community continues to inspire me everyday.
The NowLegacy Blog is set up as platform to help inspire this community to live a legacy… A legacy of leadership…A legacy of greatness…A legacy of purpose.
So I’m excited to announce that the NowLegacy Blog will now live in The Devon Bandison Company website:
NowLegacy readers… Please go to www.devonbandison.com now and sign up for the free newsletter. You will be the first to get blog posts, news, content, and tools to create a legacy of greatness.
The NowLegacy community is a community of leaders, fathers, parents, professionals and individual achievers who want to have it all. Our readers want to be successful both personally and professionally. To be the best version of themselves and live a life of connection and purpose.
I look forward to helping continue to build this great community with you..
If you’re taking the time to read my blog, you most likely want to become a better father and leader. You want to grow. You want to be a father that is more connected, present and successful. Today’s father wants to be successful in their career as well as a successful parent.
It all comes back to leadership. Fatherhood is leadership and leadership is influence—nothing more, nothing less.
Increasing your influence means improving your leadership skills as a father. As a father, I need to ask myself tough questions on a regular basis. One of those questions relates to my motives as a leader. In my work with fathers we first look at what they were taught about fatherhood and manhood growing up. We work on identifying the major influencers on their view of fatherhood.
Most fathers agree that they never received a “book” on how to be a good father. In reality, our influencers growing up was our “book.” We watched our fathers, other people’s fathers and sometimes the media define what fatherhood meant to us. The same questions apply to today’s leader. Who are your biggest influencers and mentors? What “book of leadership” do you adhere to? It’s important to take a look at your values and qualities as a leader and how it translates as a father. These are the values that you will instill in your children.
The most important question a father can ask himself is:
What kind of leader do you want to be?
A fathers leadership style directly influences the development of his children. It’s important to take a look at the relationship you are developing with your children and how you are leading.
Do you take time to listen to your child’s goals, dreams, and vision for their life?
Are you a father that tries to develop leadership qualities in your child so the can be their own leader?
Do you laugh, joke around and show your children the joy in life?
Do you allow your children to make their own mistakes and learn from them?
Are most of your conversations around cleaning rooms, taking out garbage and doing homework?
Do you find yourself yelling more than modeling the values you want to instill?
Are you a “do as I say, not as I do” kind of leader?
Don’t get me wrong, having chores is important. But is that how you want to spend most of your time communicating? There is so much more to developing young people and ways to instill responsibility. Take time to look at how you are leading and spending your time with your children.
Good leaders are life long learners, always looking for ways to improve. Same applies to fatherhood. If you want to improve your parenting skills you have to work at it.
Developing a relationship with your child based on leadership values are vital to developing our future leaders. In order to motivate others and instill values, fathers need to check their motives.
What motivates you as a leader?
As a leader and father, it’s important to question your motives often, because the temptation to lead strictly by authority is strong. Why? Because the easy default to questions from our children is the age old “because I’m your father” or “because I said so.” But what message does that send? Is that leadership?
The “do as I say and not as I do” leadership is outdated and ineffective. Fatherhood like leadership is influence, not your title or position. The best leaders/fathers lead by example.
So, fathers ask yourself…What kind of leader do you want to be?
“Before you become a father, success is about growing yourself. When you become a father, success is all about growing others”
Fatherhood is a huge responsibility with the greatest of rewards. As a father of three beautiful children and someone who works with fathers, I see the magic of fatherhood on a daily basis. I’ve come to realize that:
Fatherhood is leadership!
It is one of the highest forms of leadership. And just like leadership, fatherhood is not about a title or position. Fatherhood is an action and example of how one life can influence another.
Here are 5 of my favorite leadership quotes as it applies to fatherhood:
1. “Become the type of father that your children will follow voluntarily, even if you had no title or authority”
2. “Before you become a father, success is about growing yourself. When you become a father, success is all about growing others”
3. “A father will take his children where they want to go. A great father will take his children where they don’t necessarily want to go, but need to be”
4. “Great fathers are almost always great simplifiers who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand”
5. “Fathers inspire their children to dream more, learn more, do more and become more”
What does it mean to you?
There is a big misconception held by companies and people that success leads to happiness. I often hear people say things like “Once I get the ________ (raise, promotion, house, car, etc), I’ll be happy. This way of thinking couldn’t be further from the truth and actually prevents people from living life to the fullest. But did you know that this thought process can actually impact your paycheck?
Science and research has proven that fulfillment and happiness are key ingredients to a successful career. Optimism fuels performance and achievement which, in turn allows us to advance monetarily. The studies show that our brain is hardwired to perform at their best when they are in a positive mindset. Its biological! Without getting all Mr. Goodbody on you, here are the facts:
- When we feel optimistic about our future, dopamine and serotonin are released in our brains which in turn heightens our sense of well-being. This allow us to more rapidly organize new information and become more skilled at problem solving.
- Conversely, when you focus on your problems it exhausts your energies and ability to work optimally. Low performing employees always lead to lower paychecks.
So it’s all about your inner paycheck. If you can create a life for yourself grounded in the things that make you happy it will lead to greater success.
Here are 4 keys to increase your inner paycheck:
- Keep Healthy– The most successful people understand the importance of keeping a healthy mind, body and spirit. Treat yourself to the gift of your own attention. Eat well, workout and meditate; they all increase optimal functioning.
- Stop Complaining- I knew a woman who always said she had issues. After we spoke a few times I asked her to slow down the pronunciation of the word ISSUE and break it down to IS U! Every time you complain, you reinforce a negative state of mind without offering a solution to the problem at hand. Instead, next time you feel frustrated, take a few deep breaths and try focusing on something positive.
- Journal- Take time every day to write down at least two positive experiences you had as well as gratitude. Include small moments of happiness and random acts of kindness. It is important you write it down so you can look back and remember all you have to be thankful for when life becomes difficult.
- Show Your Gratitude- Write a thank you card, pick up the phone, volunteer or send someone a book they would enjoy. One of the best ways to increase happiness is by reaching out and helping others.
Happiness is the key ingredient to increasing your “Inner Paycheck” which will lead to success in all areas of your life. If you allow yourself to feel positive, your brain will take care of the rest. You will see increases in productivity, resiliency and problem solving which in turn will lead to greater opportunities. If increasing your pay grade is your goal start with increasing your inner paycheck.
Share some of the ways you increase your inner paycheck.
Have you ever reached a point in your life where:
You don’t wake up in the morning excited about the day ahead?
You’ve begun to totally ignore or forget the dreams you had for your life?
You seem to be surrounded by negative people who always bring your energy down?
You have low energy that prevents you from doing more of the things you love?
If any of these are true, there is a good possibility that either you’ve lost your purpose in life or never discovered it.
Recently I had an amazing conversation with a friend who asked me what my purpose was. She seemed pleasantly surprised with my answer. Our conversation took on a life of its own as we shared our experiences with finding a life of purpose. Continue reading “What Is Your Purpose? 5 Ways To Help Find Your Purpose”
Have you ever found yourself trying to perform an impossible juggling act between your work-life and home-life?
Ever spent your entire work day at the “top of your game,” only to be too tired to play games with your children when you get home?
Have you ever wondered how the person that seems to have it all is able to get work done, yet still have time for his family?
As a father of three wonderful children, I have also struggled with these same questions over the years. Continue reading “Work-Life Balance-7 Tips For The Productive Father”
Last week, at the end of a long day, my 12-year-old son turned to me and said the words that every father longs to hear:
“Dad, thanks; this was the greatest day of my life.”
You could only imagine the emotions I felt that day; feelings that could only be described as overwhelming happiness, validation, joy and love. All parents know that you may go a lifetime and not hear those words, so to hear them come from my son’s lips was a special moment. We had just left the NBA Draft in Brooklyn NY on the way back home to Queens and had a great night all around. Continue reading ““Dad This Was The Greatest Day Of My Life” 7 Tips On How To Have An Epic Day With Your Child”